Amakakeru Ryu No Hirameki
by Neokitsune
Summary: A short parody on the scene where Hiko's more or less kicked Kenshin's behind and travles down Memory Lane, more or less remembering all the embarrassing things Kenshin went through as a child.
1. Prologue

Oooooookay… so it's been quite a while since I've updated anything and I DO have to update that Naruto story of mine…

But I felt like doing this first before I went out of my way to try and actually FIND that Naruto story where it's written in my notebook. Eheh… But I'll find it, I promise.

As to that end… I'll make you guys an offer, if you WANT to see any of these stories updated good and fast, you can send me links to Rurouni Kenshin stuff! D8 No really! I need some RRK stoofs. ;; Weeb Be they doujinshi or just art… MUST HAVE!

Oh yeah. XD Spoiler Alert!!

Anything you see in this is merely a fabrication of the supposed stories that Kenshin's master was going over when he was taking his 'trip' down Memory Lane in the Twelfth Volume. None of them are real, though the first story is one that was actually mentioned in the novel as something that happened, the others are just amuzing stories that I came up with on a whim. XD

**Copyright:** I don't own Rurouni Kenshin or any of it's characters… though damn if I don't wish I DID own Kenshin. XD

**Writer's Note**: I know that there are those of you out there that have asked me to write certain stories for you over the past couple of years, that's part of why it's taken me a little while to type up some of my own, but I will NEVER make a yaoi of Rurouni Kenshin. I feel that the characters relationships that are created within the manga and anime themselves are the ones that should exist and I refuse to pair up any of the men or any of the women of Rurouni Kenshin with one another, no matter HOW good you all might make it out to be. RRK was the third Anime I ever saw in my life, and even if the anime has huge plot-holes in it because they didn't wait for the manga to finish up before starting it, I refuse to pair up any of the characters with one another if they don't end up together in the manga/anime. Kenshin belongs with Kaoru, Sanosuke belongs with Megumi and Yahiko belongs with Tsubame, NO QUESTIONS ASKED! If you want any other story in any other anime with a yaoi/yuri pairing then e-mail me asking me politely if I'll write it for you, but I'll never write one of Rurouni Kenshin, so don't bother asking anymore!

This is just a series of short but slightly amusing stories written about Himura Kenshin's life with his master, or rather all the problems that he had while living with his master in their mountain home during his training. I love Kenshin the most of all the characters in RRK, and his relationship with his vain and conceited master Hiko Seijuro is quite hilarious to sit there and read or watch, so when I re-read my manga not that long ago I knew that I had to type something up in regards to that. Don't worry, you'll see Kenshin's 'split personality' Battosai pop up once or twice, as I firmly believe that a personality like that wouldn't have just 'appeared' out of no where from a softie like Shinta.

Prologue

"Training"

Once again my idiot of a student fell down to his back again, plastered to the stone like the little slug he often can be. Maybe I was trouncing him too hard… nah, not too hard probably not hard enough in fact. It's all his fault for walking out all those years ago anyway, had the simple fool stayed then I wouldn't be doing this right now.

Though that's true… It's also hard to say no to those eyes. Always has been. Ever since he was a kid those eyes have always made me freeze for a moment and soften up, if only a little. It's like… having a puppy you have to house break, at least for me anyway.

Not that I like puppies.

"Hey. How long are you going to sleep? You should be up by _now_." I called out.

No movement, no motion, no crack of those violet eyes at all. I wonder if I pushed him too hard?  
Nah, it's my genius that even got him this far in the first place after all, if he hadn't walked out he'd be much greater than he is right now. Who cares if I work him a little too hard?

"Well, if you won't get up," I started as I lifted the sake cup, "I'll just continue my stroll down memory lane."

Stroll indeed, it was hardly any type of stroll with these memories. The little idiot got himself into far too many situations for even his brave and daring master to get him out of I'm afraid. Though the one with the Laughing Mushrooms… that had been amuzing…


	2. Laughing Mushrooms

Chapter 1

"Laughing Mushrooms"

"Sensei?" Pokes touched the side of Hiko Seijuro's head as he leaned against the side of his wall, eyes closed and relaxed calmly, like always. "Sensei…"

The pokes started to get a little harder as Seijuro's red-headed student kept up his poking, violet eyes gazing up at him like giant glowing orbs. Innocence was reflected in those gentle eyes, innocence that often amused and annoyed his master at the same time. It was those sensitive eyes that he'd been trying to get rid of for the past two years, though they had gotten a little bit harder during a battle.

Slowly, over two years those eyes had begun to become orbs of ice when a sword touched his hand, though when he was without one…

"Sensei!"

"What do you _want_ boy?" the snap made the boy flinch and scurry behind one of the many large pots that littered the floor. The large purple eyes peered around the pot demurely for a moment before a small jar flew and smacked Seijuro in the side of the head, as if in retaliation for the fright he'd suffered at his master's sharp words.

_Stupid boy, probably hungry with my luck._ "If you're hungry then just speak up why don't you?"

How long had it been since he'd fed him? He couldn't even remember really, probably two or three days at the most, he usually found food out there on his own, though occasionally he came to Seijuro and all but demanded food, making it quite annoying to feed him when he had to. At least it could be said that the boy wasn't picky thanks to the predicament that he'd dealt with only two years ago when he was in the presence of slavers.

In fact he ate all but _everything_ that Seijuro put before him, even if it was a rock dressed up as rice… that had been amusing. Especially when he kept gnawing on it like the little demon that he could sometimes be, teeth gnashing away angrily to see if he could even _do_ any damage, which of course he could not. Lucky for him he didn't break any of those cursed sharp teeth when he bit down on the rock… not that the sight wouldn't have been amusing, which it would have been of course, but simply because he didn't feel like having to take him down to attempt to get them fixed and then have to come up with an excuse.

Excuses may have been Hiko Seijuro's forte, but he didn't have enough of an imagination to come up with one for an eleven year old boy's broken teeth.

"Well?"

"D-do we have any food here?"

"If you're hungry then go find some."

"Sensei…"

"You heard me, go find some if you're hungry! Stupid boy and your pot throwing habits."

"Fine.."

The mule headed boy stood up slowly from behind the pot and inched his way along the wall past Seijuro carefully, making sure not to irritate his master all that greatly in the process, as he didn't wish to be hurt in any way. Not that Seijuro would have hurt him, just that he'd have put him easily in his place. He always adjusted the force when it came to inflicting a blow upon his 'dear' pupil's head or body in any way, though he was afraid sometimes that he'd inflicted far to many head wounds to him, what with that 'oro' noise he was constantly making and all.

What _was_ that noise anyway?

A rock soared lowly across the ground as Kenshin's foot kicked it, his violet eyes narrowed down to golden slits as he hissed and huffed his way down towards the river, a kitchen knife in his hand as a hunting weapon. He'd been getting his own food for the longest time now, why did his master never step up to that plate and help him, eh? Why was he always forced to go and find his own food, even when his master had food of his own?

"'My most precious knowledge' he says." Kenshin grumbled, his grumbles coming almost as frequently as the growls from his belly, "'I'll teach you so you'll be stronger' he says. What's he supposed to teach when I'm a corpse like those slavers, eh? What'll be left of his student?"

A sound caught his attention, forcing him to swivel his gaze up into a tree and across a bird, violet eyes back and a wide smile on his face, only to be erased when his belly suddenly screamed at him. So then this was no time to simply stand around and wait for food then, he'd have to get it for himself… but where?

A hiss caught his battle sharpened ears and Kenshin turned his gaze to peer up at a squirrel in a tree. Hardly able to get that was he? Oh well, there would be other things, like fish or something, that being why he had the knife. If only there were some Bamboo around then the boy figured he could make himself a fairly good staff with which to spear some fish with… not that he had any rope to do it with.

Improvisation was never his strong point after all.

Crossing his arms and walking slower than normal, the young student of Hiten Mitsurugi Ryu was simply a well of information, but often none of it found any way to spill out of him in any way, shape, or form. Mostly Kenshin had found ways to simply keep it to himself while at the same time keeping his ears to the ground to hear yet more information. It was useful in the long run, though could be a chore at times, especially when it came to his master and how much of a hermit he was.

A sake addicted hermit, that was poetic in a way.

Amused by his twist of words, Kenshin started to walk once more, eyes closed and humming to ignore the twisting of his empty belly, his smile as innocent as his eyes could be at times, it was easy to see why he could melt away his master's anger at this point, though when his eyes turned to amber…

Ah that was a different story for a different time he supposed.

OH!

There before him, where his foot had almost landed despite his best efforts to dodge to the side so as not to smash the first one he'd seen, there he saw a small clump of mushrooms with red caps and dots.

"FOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!" was the simple statement that Kenshin used here before ripping each of them out of the ground by the stem and stuffing them down the top of his Hakama.

As soon as all of them were stuffed down the front of his Hakama, resting gently at his waist in the fold that hung out past his slim belly, Kenshin darted his violet eyes around in attempts to find yet another source of food. Maybe something that would taste good with mushrooms, though it didn't matter to him, just something that he could eat.

Fish?

Well there was that pesky problem of having no rope whatsoever with which to tie his knife to a staff of bamboo.. maybe he could find a vine? As if that was even likely? What vines were around at that time after all?

"Damn… I need to start thinking ahead or sensei'll just mock me again…" Kenshin trailed off slowly, attempting to think through all these decisions before finally settling on the simple task of going to take a quick swim instead.

Cool water eased the muscles that ached from the day before, smoothing over them and slowly taking away the sore bruises that had appeared on his skin. They came with the training and the like, but all the same Kenshin wished that his master hadn't hit him so hard and sometimes even started to wonder how he wasn't dead from each of the hits administered to his head or chest or back every day. All part of training he supposed.

Still… hard training for someone of only eleven years.

A flash of silver told him of all the fish that were swimming around him, darting between his legs and brushing his feet with their bodies in attempts to check if he were a threat or not. The fact that they kept doing it seemed to mean that they found him no threat whatsoever, which normally would have made Kenshin happy, but today just irritated him.

Was he a pushover to everything in this world?

"Stupid fish!" Kenshin roared out and dove down into the water, grabbing one by the tail and dragging the large body of the fish to him in attempts to get ahold of it and keep it, though all he got was a good slap in the face by a fin.

Breaking the surface with the wriggling fish, Kenshin did his best to run towards the bank where he could deposit the fish and kill it to cease it's wriggling in his grasp. Unfortunately that wasn't to be, as the fish suddenly made a left spin in his arms and, with a parting slap to Kenshin's face with its broad and rather sharp tail, slipped back beneath the water at the boy's waist. Apparently it warned the others around it as well, for the moment it disappeared beneath the water all the fish scattered and seemed to hide from him.

"Damnit…" the pre-teen muttered beneath his breath, red locks falling before his violet eyes lightly as he pondered his next move. It wouldn't be that hard to just go back and cook up the mushrooms would it? Or should he just eat them on the way there? He _was_ awfully hungry.

Pulling himself up to the edge of the river he peered quietly at the mushrooms in his hakama as if they were heaven themselves. He was so hungry that they may as well have been sugar for him, it just didn't matter.

Still curled up and snoozing away rather than making any pottery at this time, Hiko Seijuro nearly jerked off of the floor at the sound of the pained laughter coming from outside of his cottage. It wasn't the sort of pained laughter that one would hear when someone was attempting to make light of a situation, it was almost as if the owner of the laugh was having a hard time _stopping_ the laughter from coming. Like they were laughing themselves to death.

"Stupid student…" Hiko breathed under his breath softly. He didn't have to even go out there to know what the boy had found for his lunch today. The fool, he'd warned him about eating things off the ground when he'd come here, even bothered to show him a few things to warn him the best that he could. All to no avail he presumed, an idiot was an idiot.

Shadows shifted as he moved and all but floated out to the log he'd situated before his fire, his 'place of zen' where he was able to get away from his thoughts. Now however, perched on top of that same calming log was a pre-teen who was nearly falling off of it with each wrack of laughter that lit upon his fragile looking pale frame. In his hand were two small mushrooms with red caps and black dots on the top.

"Laughing Mushrooms" as they were called, did exactly what the name implied. The laughter that sometimes came from them was enough to kill a grown man if he ate too many of them. Unfortunately Hiko couldn't tell how many his stupid student had eaten, but he could at least deduce that it was enough, because Kenshin was pounding his fist on the rough bark of the log and tears were rolling down his cheeks in his attempts to cease his laughter.

Amuzing little weevil he was.

"So you ate the laughing mushrooms eh? And here I could swear I told you not to eat things off the ground around here." Hiko stated simply, watching the tears that were streaming harder from Kenshin's eyes closely. This could be bad, if the boy died then his teachings went with him and to find another student at such a time would be hard, especially to be forced to teach them. Not to mention that Kenshin was truly a gifted one, with that small body and lightning quick reflexes.

To lose him would be a blow for Hiten Mitsurugi Ryu and possibly to Hiko himself, who'd grown fond of him despite what his words declared. Of course there had to be a way to save him, there was always an antidote for these sorts of things.

"S-s-s-s… HAHAHAHA! S-sensei!" Kenshin managed to at least call out to him despite his snorting laughter that only seemed to be getting stronger.

"Well… only one cure for that isn't there?"

The tears streaming down his face seemed to be carving tracks into his skin as Kenshin kept laughing, unable to stop despite his evident efforts to keep it from continuing. His master had picked him up by the back of his shirt and simply carried him in this direction, though he couldn't see what it was, and Kenshin could only presume it had something to do with water. At this rate he was destined to deplore water from a young age, but right now he could care less. If it kept the tears from coming more and the laughter go away then he was all for it. Bring _on_ the water for all he cared at this point.

Wish granted.

His small body flew through the air, laughter still ripping from his mouth, and crash landed into the freezing water that he'd been swimming in not that very long ago. Sure he'd given himself a chance to dry off first before going back to his home, Kenshin still didn't like the prospect of being wet once more when he didn't have to be. Not to mention the laughter forced him to suck water in through his nose and mouth and… other places as he fell through the water, trying to dig to the surface as his chest still bubbled with giggles and snorts.

It was as he sucked cold water into his lungs that he felt himself finally stop laughing and instead his lungs to burn in pain and torment. His movements stopped being desperate and became panicked instead, his hands ripping at the top of the water so that only his fingers showed on the surface to betray where he was, as if the bubbles from beneath weren't enough. Not used to swimming under the water that often, Kenshin was next to useless at it and from this exact moment made a promise to himself that he would get better at it if he survived this experience.

A large hand grabbed the back of his neck in what felt like a vice and pulled Kenshin's limp body from the river, burning eyes meeting his angrily. If only to speak well of his master's caring, Hiko Seijuro hadn't let him drown when Kenshin figured he would have. Maybe his master wasn't all that bad?

"Did that incessant laughing of yours finally cease? Or do you need another dip?" Hiko asked gruffly, holding him out at arm's length over the water once more, his eyes not changing from their burning intensity.

Good feelings gone.


End file.
